This is not a post depicting my feelings about Kyu. I am not sad, or depressed or angry.
Well I guess it is a post about Kyu.
He enlisted on Sunday, my time, and well maybe I shed a few tears. But I didn't cry my eyes out. I didn't throw any tantrums or get irrationally angry. I cried and I moved on.
I love Kyu but I have had the entire month to get used to the idea. I won't have my bias around for two years. I won't be able to spaz over him or see him on the internet. I won't wake up to happy pictures or updates on twitter. And I won't get to hear his beautiful voice in new music.
But IT'S OKAY.
My life keeps moving forward. There is more to me than just being a fan girl online. I am at a new place emotinally and it took Kyu enlisting to get me here.
I have my dreams to live out. I have my goals to accomplish. I have songs to write, music to produce. Stories to finish. Friends to meet. And new music to listen to.
When Kyu come back, I will be in a better place. I will have most of my goals accomplished and be well on my way to achieving my dreams.
I am confident this is true because I have God backing me up. I trust God to take care of Kyu and SS501. I trust him to protect them to guide them and make them grow into the men they are meant to be.
I feel good.
In two years, I will be visiting Korea. I will meet Kyu and give him a big hug. I will give him the song I will write for him.
I like the sound of that.
Kyujong is my inspiration. His personality, his soul, his drive, his values, everything about him make me actually feel. I love that.
I really thank Kyu! Without him, I wouldn't have been able to have this emotinal breakthrough. I have mentioned before that I suck at dealing with my emotions. So I chose not to deal with them at all. Thanks to him, in such an odd way, I am now able to begin dealing with them. God really used SS501 in my life. He brought them into my life to inspire me, to motivate me, to change me.
I love my boys so much. And I am forever proud to be a Triple S.
Always and Forever, I will Love Ya
- I Will Wait For Kim Kyu Jong!